January 2012
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Champagne is overrated. I’d rather toast the New Year by licking Hershey syrup off hot guys.
December 2011
Every time you lie to your girlfriend an angel takes away a blowjob
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I get really excited every time a heavy breather freak calls from a private number because I pretend he’s Darth Vader calling from the Death Star.
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I have a headache someone get me in n out I will love you forever!
I found the conversation more stimulating when his words were muffled by my inner thighs.
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Kinda fucked up how uncommon common sense is.
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This guy writes me the sweetest love poems on my face.
Anonymous asked: oh my goodness, you post so much BA i'm dead. thank you soo much for killing me!
Porn is proof that women are awesome at multitasking.
The closer I get to 300 followers the more anti social I feel.
hungoverit asked: you're killin it. i'll be in long beach wednesday, hit me up!
Guys are more interesting when they play get to hard.
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